i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
