Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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