btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think a kid would responsible me up
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
