Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
