Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
