"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
