she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
