I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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