chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can you bring me the toilet please
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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