I seem to have left my pride at pride
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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