Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
