Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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