Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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