as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
