so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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