she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
