Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize