are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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