I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
