Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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