Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Houston, we have a squirter
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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