Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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