I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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