Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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