The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize