We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
