she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
