it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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