she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
