Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
