Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
