Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
