I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
