You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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