I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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