im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
