Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
