Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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