like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
