shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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