I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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