there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
