OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
