Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
