last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you never un-have a 4some
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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