can we get nightvision for the apartment?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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