Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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