Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize