If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
