i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
