I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
