I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
