Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
