she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
