I wanna bring you to show and tell
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
