Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
