actually, I'm a sock model
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
