is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize