And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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