Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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